Thursday, May 6, 2010

Puberty. Yuck.

Once we had this huge crack in the wall. It wasn't very noticeable even though it was in like the center of our living room. I must've walked past it like a trillion times and I never noticed it, but I think that goes without saying. However that is not my point. Our land lord we'll call him "Dave" (hi Dave!!!!) hires this guy, we'll call him "Guy hired by Dave to fix cracked wall in Living Room", to fix the crack. So long story short this dude patches up our wall, but before he leaves he says "its gonna look worse before it gets better" hmmm. Acute observation "Guy hired by Dave to fix cracked wall in Living Room" but at that moment I kid you not I turned around and said, very loudly might I add "LIKE PUBERTY!" and how freaking true that is. Puberty it gets worse before it gets better.

I pity my parents I really do. In my family there are four girls before two boys. That's a WHOLE lotta puberty. A whole lotta of zits, of boyfriends, of stinkiness, of mood swings, of growth spurts, of blahblahblahblahblah. In short puberty sucks. Who thought it was a good idea in the first place, I mean seriously. I think we should all stay toddlers! Sure there are tactical errors to this, but shhhh just hear me out. If we were all toddlers there would be no more drug abuse, no more alcoholism, no more wars. I mean we'd all have the mental capacity of toddlers and the worst you can do even if you're a baby genius is spell out I HATE YOU in those preschool blocks. It would be soooo great!

Maybe we could elect certain people to grow up and be our caretakers, cause uh we're toddlers those diapees ain't gonna change themselves, huh? We could hire the guys from Full House, they've got experience, I mean they did practically raise the Olson Twins...oh wait, maybe thats not such a good idea. Anyways. I'll be presenting my proposition to Congress Monday. At the rate that they're handing out funding lately I'm sure me and my team of professionals (my two chaweenies Lily and Delilah) will have Project Toddler up and going in NO TIME!

Aside from puberty there's also something I've been thinking about lately, especially now that I'm taking health.  I just finished the section where they discuss different age groups and stages in life. You have infant-hood, adolescence, adult-hood, and then the they stop counting cause your so freakin old. It seems to me that individuals *cough cough* who hit this 'stop counting age' some of them go through an age degression. For instance. We all know that eventually you loose the color in your hair...ok? Known fact of life people, so why is it that I go to the supermarket every so often and see Grams over there with purple hair. HELLOOOOOO does anyone else see a problem with this? When your ninety some-odd years  you should not look like a chewed up spit out version of the kids I go to school with ok? Stop shopping at HOT TOPIC and go buy some freaking loafers, play bingo, go golfing, lecture kids about pulling their pants up and the good old days, which were really not that said so yourself in the "I had to walk fifty miles in the snow barefoot to school" speech...but I guess memory loss comes with the whole white hair thing. Maybe its the white hair. Its like the sun hits it and then there's this chain reaction and BAM you can't remember a thing.
Look at me. One blog post and I've already solved half of humanities problems! Bahahahhaahaha.

I don't really have much more to say now, besides the fact that I'll probably be doing a lot of blogging in the near future. Long story. Moral of lesson DO NOT JUMP AND JIVE AT YOUR PROM YOU MAY JUST BE THAT LUCKY GIRL WHO ENDS UP HAVING TO BE CARRIED OUT BY HER DAD AND LANDS HERSELF IN THE ER THE NEXT DAY CAUSE SHE RUPTURED HER ANTERIOR LIGAMENT! more on that one later though....

In the mean time. Don't take no wooden nickels kids. ;) lol.

Yours truly,
Madame Rara

No comments:

Post a Comment